|
Now, many years later, Allie suffers from Senile Dementia. Noah has suffered two or three recent heart attacks. He lives in the care home, despite his children pleading for him to leave and return home to them, because he will not leave Allie, his sweetheart. His summation, early in the plot, sets up the theme of the movie:
"I am no one special. Just a common man with common thoughts. I've led a common life. There are no monuments dedicated to me, and my name will soon be forgotten. In one respect, I have succeeded as gloriously as anyone who's ever lived. I've loved another with all my heart and soul. And for me, that has always been enough."
When viewing a movie like “The Notebook,” many adults will feel a resonation, even though it seems romantic Love has failed them. However, love stories, like that between Noah and Allie, come out of the collective recognition that love between two persons has the capacity to emulate the love that Life has for each of us. The reason we enjoy love stories and admire couples who deeply love each other, whether they are in their teens or late 80s …, is we know that True Love is more real than the pursuit of pleasure, material security, professional notoriety, ... We know this Love has something to do with our essential being and reason for being.
I looked at my mother and father, when she was dying of cancer. They had been married for over fifty-three years. He deeply loved her, and I saw his love for her to an extent I had never seen. While he dreaded letting go of her and life here without her, I rejoiced that he had known such True Romantic Love. The romantic attraction and desire, as God meant it to, carried over into their older adult years, not dying out with the years of youthful vigor and vibrant sexual hormones. Like us each, neither she nor he always knew how to show the love they had for each other. And, they never had a lot materially. In fact, they knew years of having almost nothing. But, love kept them together. That was even clearer than before to see in their last months together physically on earth.
|
|
I believe this is the truth of romance as True Love. This Love is not the facile attachment to a continual overdose of sensual pleasure, otherwise called lust, and it is not seeking to get the Love from someone else that can only come from inside oneself. I believe my parents stayed together for over fifty years because there was a Love inside them, which came from their respect and love for God and greater than all the forces that could have pulled them apart.
Regarding so-called romance as mere sexual pleasure, I, since being single, have had persons approach me, contending that just having sex would help me so much. I guess some think that sexual relief is a must for all adults and healthy adults cannot just say “No.” Possibly, we now live in a culture that believes waiting for True Love and saving oneself for it implies a brain deformity or something. But, just having sex would leave me empty. Romance as just-sex is a poor substitute for romantic Love: focus on “Love.” Possibly, some persons seek relief, like persons being hungry. But, we find our true aspirations in romantic Love by respecting ourselves enough to settle for nothing less, for we want all God wants for us. And, thankfully, also, to fall in Love with all Life is a wonderful way to discover that one does not have to have coitus to feel fully human and whole.
I choose to believe in the truth of true romantic Love, exemplified in my parents and between Noah and Allie, but not because I have to. I could give into cynicism—many have. I could reduce such Love to childish dreams, cultural factors, or just plain luck. However, I choose to believe in this Love. I have known it. I have seen it, too, in the eyes and lives of others. I have witnessed it in friends who are in their second or third marriages and, now, for years have been deeply in Love romantically and spiritually. Even as a single man and not now involved in a romantic relationship, that Love thrives in my heart, for it does not rely on having someone to share it with romantically to remain Itself.
Continued... |
